She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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