I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
