if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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