Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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