I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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