Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
