He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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