I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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