also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
