id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
True strength comes from lack of pants
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
