they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
