it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
