dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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