an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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