paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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