Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
