Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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