Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
