...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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