Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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