WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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