after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
