god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
