I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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