Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
