I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
