she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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