also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
