ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
