i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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