I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
