I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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