Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
