My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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