i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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