my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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