Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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