Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize