Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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