I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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