is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Houston, we have a blender
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
