so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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