he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
