i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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