Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
