I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
