i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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