I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
