YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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