Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
