so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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