So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
