she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
