Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
