a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
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I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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