you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
