Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
