Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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