but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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