you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
