At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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