This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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