if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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