Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
