yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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