Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
