His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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