he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
